31 days, Yogi Bear, and a little Socialism

31 days, feeling great, all the normal stuff. Very excited to be through with the first month, and it went by so much faster that I thought it would have and doesn't seem like it was so bad. I know it was but those memories are becoming distant.


My back is still killing me. I did not go into work today, and had my second chiropractor appointment. I am actually in more pain now then I was this morning. It's not the sharp shooting pain, but more of soreness in my upper back, next and left arm and hand. I'll tell him about it when I go back on Friday.

I haven't been off of work for this long in a very long time. Other than the times I've been out of a job that is. It's very strange. I did not go in on Monday, and left early yesterday and no work today. I am going in tomorrow and going to try for the full day, we'll see how it goes.

Being home from work, there are some very interesting things on TV. I didn't know about the Boomerang channel, it's awesome! All classic cartoons like The Flintstones, Woody Woodpecker, Yogi Bear, and Huckleberry Hound. I watched for quite a while.

I also tuned into Fox news. I know I know bad idea. I am a totally left bleeding heart liberal, and I do in my daily life talk smack about the right wing, crazy christian, T-bagger, W, and moose hunter lovers. (I will not say their names in my blog; they do not deserve the mention). I also preach equality and treating each other with kindness and understandings, so I decided why not give it a shot to attempt to see the other side of things.

I decided to tune into Glen Beck, with all intentions of watching the full show. I will say right now that I was only able to get half way through before I only had three choices. 1. Change the channel and put on some Comedy Central, or MSNBC, 2. Throw the remote control through the TV, 3. Purchase a gun and go on a bloody rampage. My back hurt too much to throw anything with force, I am a strong supporter of gun control and refuse to ever hold one, let alone purchase one, so I was left with the rational channel change.

I sat on my couch unable to keep my jaw from hitting the floor, his banter just got more and more ridicules, moronic, and plain old dumb.

First thing, to anyone that supports and actually listens to these people. Communism and Socialism are not interchangeable terms they are completely different ideologies. If you are interested in knowing the difference, mentalfloss.com defines it well: http://www.mentalfloss.com/difference/communism-vs-socialism/

He also referred numerous times to the fact that "we don't want what happened in (insert random European country) to happen here" with ABSOLUTLY NO EXPLINATION OR REFERNCE to what event he was talking about. He also refers to himself as a patriot and claims he loves this country, in an quick attempt to find out more information on this person, I came across this quote from his then radio show in 2005 "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining."

Nice isn't it? It makes me physically ill that there are people that I know personally, and once thought were normal people, whom I still care about and love watch this guy and believe in the lies that he spouts.

I do just wish that someone like Jon Stewart, or really anyone out there with a loud enough voice will call these people what they are, sore losers and racists. Plain and simple if you supported the democratic cause and voted democratic before Obama was elected and all of a sudden have joined the Tea Party movement stop saying that you have become a conservative overnight and be honest and say that you don't like him because he's black and you are a raciest pig, I'll have more respect for you if you just admit it, than if you say that you really think that Moose Hunter should be our next president.

One Month

Today is one full month since my last cigarette! My initial goal was to get to this point, and I made it. It seemed almost like a finish line way back at day one, but I now know that it's not. There is no finish line it's just the rest of my life. I still want to smoke every so often, but much less than I did in the first couple of weeks. Every situation brings different challenges, and old habit return to memory. I just have to keep pushing past those memories and create new ones. Always knowing that I have a better and healthier future ahead of me now. Life is better, smells better, tastes better, in feels better.


I am going to try to post every day, but may miss every so often. I missed yesterday because my back still hurts and I did not feel up to sitting up and typing. I am getting this post out of the way before the pain starts to come back. I went to see a chiropractor yesterday and I do indeed have a pinched nerve in my back, so I'm going to be taking it easy for a while. Just a constant shooting pain, a whole lot better than Saturday, but not anywhere near normal.

Tonight is Tuesday, and that means another new episode of LOST! Which is awesome, but also means another episode closer to the end, which sucks. Either way, can't wait to watch and I'm sure I will be praising and condemning Darlton tomorrow morning. See you then!

Twenty Six Days and counting

Day Twenty Six, and once again, nothing new to report. Walking through the alleys to and from work don't really bother me anymore. Especially after this morning, I saw a woman, couldn't have been older than 40 or so smoking and hacking at the same time. You could hear her cough half way down the street. If any of you know me well enough, you know that the sound of people coughing, especially that deep flemmy cough makes me gag. I cannot stand it. I have moved seats on the train and shot people dirty looks if they are sitting behind me coughing. I tell my co-workers to go home, I can't stand the sound. So this really bothered me to see her still smoking after sounding like that. I'm sure I've done the same thing, and I'm happy and lucky that was only when I was sick and I never had that smokers cough and have had enough sense to attempt quitting before I did.


And I have what feels like a pinched nerve near my left shoulder blade, it has been killing me since yesterday afternoon. Any tips for dealing with it, other than going to a chiropractor?

24 days, sick day, and LOST!

I took a sick day today, that's why I'm blogging so late. Nothing serious just a scratchy throat and stuffy nose. Figured that I'd take a day to rest and try to keep it from becoming a full blown cold, plus I've been extremely tired the past two days.


Onto Lost! Let me tell you the first episode LAX was crazy awesome! Have a couple of answers like the black smoke can't cross the white powder that's why it was surrounding the cabin, so that makes no more sense than it did before. I am very upset that I had to watch Juliet die twice in the same episode! I mean I was crying at the last scene of the recap with Sawyer yelling at her to not let go, and you do it 2 more times, Damon and Carlton, what in the world were you thinking! At least you didn't kill Charlie again, it was close, but alt timeline Charlie made it, even though he was promptly arrested and won't become the Charlie we loved on the island and will most likely OD soon, he's still alive, because if you killed Charlie again I'd have to fly on down to Hawaii and do some damage!

So basically that is my theory. If you believe in string theory, there are millions of alternative universes out there. Basically every decision that you make, there is a universe that you made the opposite choice. So now the show is dealing with two separate universes, one where the plane crashed and the bomb put them all into the current timeline, and one where the plane didn't crash and none of them ever met. I think I like it, well done Darlton! Well done!

So the quitting is going great, I feel more like myself than ever before, I just feel normal.

Day 23, Elections, and LOST!

Twenty-three days smoke free! I'm really running out of things to talk about on this subject, so I decided that after 30 days I will update on this venture weekly instead of daily.




Today is primary election day here in Illinois! I know a lot of you don't vote in primaries because you don't want to declare a party or don't think they really matter. They do matter, this is the time when you get to decide who will be in the general election. I don't want to hear anyone in the general election that didn't vote in the primary complain that they don't like any of the candidates. Now is the time to have your say. I don't care if your Democratic, Republican or independent. Although in Illinois it's pretty much a waste of time to pull an Independent party ticket, since there is usually no opposition. Me, I'm pulling a democratic ticket, I know that won't surprise anyone. I'm still undecided on who I've voting for governor, I've always liked Quinn, seems like a normal guy who pulls for the little guy, but Hynes doesn't seem so bad either. I have to do some research and most likely won't make up my mind until I'm in the booth. I support Alexi Giannoulias for senate, I've liked him since the Obama election when I first noticed him, and think he is the right person to fill Obama's seat. Cook County board is a no win election I don't like anyone, but I really don't like Stroger, so it's choosing who is the least evil out of the group. We shall see.



On a more exciting note, tonight is the premier of the final season of Lost! I can't wait to see what happened after Juliet set off the bomb last season. I have been a huge fan of the show since it premiered, so am very excited to have it back, and also sad that this is the last season. I'll try to post a recap tomorrow.

Twenty Two

I want to start this week off by tell you that Mike has now not smoked in 1 week! I am so happy that he is doing this with me!
I made it through three weeks now, and every day I feel more and more normal. I am still snippy every so often, but less than last week.
Anyway, another Monday another week back to work. I had an amazing weekend, Friday with friends, and helping my friend Gina with all of the wedding planning, so exciting! Saturday my niece Angelina's birthday and with family and yesterday I got to hang out with the kids, and then with Mike later.
He says that I am more arguementitave and preachy lately, I have to agree, but don't think that it's because of the smoking.
I have kept my mouth shut on topics like politics and religion, espically around people who do not share the same beliefs as I do, like my family and friends. I have stopped doing that. I feel more confident in my beliefs than I ever have before. I do not expect everyone or anyone for that matter to agree with me, just respect that this is my opinion, as I respect yours. Some people think that the only opinion that is correct is their own and if you don't agree you are wrong. That's not the way the world works. I have spent way too long holding back, but not anymore.
On that note, tomorrow is election day! I know that many people don't vote in the primarys, but I think it's just as important, maybe even more so, than the general election. This is the time when you get to decide who represents you and your party. I am and always have declared myself a Democrat, I have a general idea who I am voting for in the bigger races, but have to so a little more reseach on the smaller ones. I have voted in every election since I turned 18, and always look forward to casting my vote.

Nineteen Days

Happy Friday everyone! Today is nineteen days that means if I know how to count correctly tomorrow is 20 days. I've got to tell you, I feel better and better every day. I'm in a great mood today, I mean how can I not be it's the third day in a row that the sun is out, and it's going to be all the way up to 25 this weekend, and it's Friday, and it's jeans day at work, I mean the perfect storm of wonderful things!


Seriously though, I have been exceptionally crabby and snappy (read a MAJOR bitch) since quitting, at least at home. I think it takes all of the energy that I have to be pleasant at work, especially days like yesterday, that I have no patience left when I get home. I'm trying to work on it though, any tips appreciated. I try the deep breathing, but that's usually after I snap to calm down. I need to figure out something before I give that icy glare or yell about non-important. As an example I was talking to Mike this morning on my way to the train, and he was telling me his plans for the night, and I interrupted him and yelled "Well I'm going to Target and Toys R Us as soon as I get off of work" in the meanest bitchiest way, and I have no idea why or where it came from, and why I had to just cut him off mid sentence to tell him that. I go from happy to crazy in a spit second, I think quitting smoking has given me Tourette's syndrome!

Day Eighteen, plus my take on the State of the union

Today is day 18 for me and I am proud to say day 3 for Mike, congrats Honey!



I thought that last night was going to difficult to get through after watching President Obama's speech. I was thinking about it all day, and could not wait to watch it. For those of you who don't know I've been watching the State of the Union every year since my junior year in high school. We had this amazing history/poli sci teacher, Mr. Zdun, who made our assignment Jr. year to watch President Bill Clinton give the state of the union and count how many standing O's he received. Now watching him speak was easy, he was charismatic, believable, and the first president that really cared about me and my family. He wasn't some old man who I couldn't identify with, he was roughly my parents age, and his daughter and I are close in age, so I identified with her and through her him.



I have continued to watch every year, even if I didn't support who was in the office, I felt it was important to know where our elected leader (even if I didn't vote for him) said the direction of the country was going, because it affects us all. So I sat through 8 long years of listening to Bush bully his way through congress and the American people.



There are a few point that I would like to touch on from the President's speech, and a few other things that I noticed. I don't want to argue with anyone, but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. If your opinions differ and you would like a friendly debate, please comment, but make sure you are respectful, or your comment will get deleted. I don't expect everyone or anyone to agree with me, but you respect me, I'll respect you.



One other quick note, I have voted in every election, general, primary, and special since I turned 18. The first thing I did on the morning of my 18th birthday was register to vote, and I vote democrat! There are three major ideals that I look for in a candidate: 1. Equal rights for EVERYONE including women and homosexuals. 2. Equal rights to healthcare, affordable coverage for lower or no income families, meaning everyone in the country, no matter what have access to healthcare and will not go broke and lose their house if something happens to them. 3. Women’s right to choose, this is SO important to me. Absolutely no one can tell me what to do with my body.



So now my take on the State of the Union.



The first thing I noticed, and haven't heard anyone comment on was all of the color worn on the left side of the house, and how the right looked like a bunch of Mr. Burns' going to a funeral. I even went as far as when the right stood up when the President talked about nuclear power to imagine them all tapping their fingers together saying sinisterly "excellent".



Things the republicans did not stand up for, so I can only assume they hate: Small business, clean air, college education, healthy middle class and poor people, Haiti, fighting AIDS, lowing the number of nuclear weapons, and immigrant, including the legal ones (I would take this to mean they all think they are Native American)



I can't wait until August to be out of Iraq, and for our men and women in the armed forces to finally come home, although I am not naive I do believe that many of them will end up on Afghanistan or Iran (If you watched last night, you would know that Iran is in trouble)



I liked that he took a stand and said if the jobs bill and healthcare do not meet his standards he will veto them. I would like to see him stick to that.

There was a 4 trillion deficit before he walked in the door from the Bush administration not paying for two wars, he's only added 1 trillion and has a plan to pay that back, so stop blaming him for the deficit.



Thank you Mr. President for calling out the Dems for not taking advantage of their majority in both houses, push though the bills that we believe in! Thank you for asking for partnership and for calling out the Republicans for constantly seeking election and not doing their job. Thank you for talking about all of the silly pundents, they are both on the left and right, but mostly right. They are looking for ratings, and the crazier they get, the better the ratings. Please people if you listen to Fox News all day, put on MSNBC for an hour just to hear the other side. I listen to both sides, and can't help but laugh at them all.



Promised again to eliminate don't ask don't tell, it's about damn time! The military leaders don't look happy about that. I don't understand what the problem with this is, what is the difference if a solider is straight or gay, how does that make the person less able to serve their country, especially in a time of war. Someone wants to go out to the desert and fight and defend our freedom, let them. We allow any religion or color, so why not orientation? Will someone please explain this to me!



I was wondering how he would say it, but after all of this I understand, why we may be going through a hard time and recovering from a great loss the state of our union is still good, even though he didn't say it, but I trust its in good hands.



"We don't quit, I DON'T QUIT"



Thank you President Obama for everything that you have done already and will do for the next 3 for sure, but I hope 7 more years. You will always have my support, even if I don't agree with everything (which you have yet given me something to disagree with)

Seventeen

It's been 17 days, and I feel great! Again that may have something to do with the fact that I caught a brief glimpse of the sun, in what feels like a couple of weeks. Ah... winter in Chicago, nothing like it, so cold, your thankful not to go outside to smoke anymore. I couldn't imagine starting this voyage in the summer when all I want is to get away from my desk and spend a few minutes outside. I have a feeling this summer I'll be getting Lavazza or Dunkin coffee more than Starbucks just so I can have an excuse to go outside. I need to stop thinking about summer and the warmth, because that just makes me even more sad. This has been one of the coldest weeks so far this winter, at least in my opinion. This cold wasn't bothering be as much as the lack of sun has. Besides, it's cold, don't get me wrong; it's not can't breathe, below zero cold. It's a tolerable cold, enough to want to stay inside all day and not get out of bed. I'm just happy that the only time I'm going to be outside is to and from work, not 3 - 5 times to smoke.

Day twelve, smokers alley

I'm onto day twelve. The hardest part continues to be walking to and from work. You see I take the blue line and get off at Washington and work on LaSalle. The quickest way to get to my building is to cut down a couple of allys, that is also the only place that people downtown can smoke since the smokingn ban laws. So I walk past about 20-50 smokers each way in a two block strech. I am tempted each and every day to ask someone for one. Now the simple and obvious solution would be to just simply not walk through the ally. Going around would, however, add another two blocks to my walk, and while I could use the extra exercise, it's Chicago, and it's Janurary, it's just too damn cold to do that! So I will continue to cut through smokers alley, and fight the tempentation. It builds character, right?

Day Eleven

Wow, I can't belive that 10 full days went by this fast. I am already getting used to my new life. Getting to work was a bit easier this morning, no reaching in the purse, no wrong turns. I did have to get gas and the guy at my station brought me a pack, and I had to tell him no and I'm quitting, so just need gas this morning. Which struck up a conversation while he was pumping my gas, which was a nice way to start the day. I usually don't like talking to people first thing in the morning, but didn't mind too much today. The one thing that did bother me was the girl in the seat in front of me on the El had REALLY long hair and kept putting it over her seat and it was all lover my newspaper. I was SO tempted to pull it or tell her to move her hair, because it's disgusting, but I kept my mouth shut, and just kept swatting at her when I turned the pages. I know passive/agressive, but it was really gross.

10 Days

I've made it to the double digit in days! I don't know what it is, but getting to work seems to be the hardest part. I am ok with driving any other time, but this morning I got to my car started it and reached in my purse for a cigerette without even thinking, it took me a few seconds to realize that I don't have any and won't have any anymore. I guess it's just too early to really think clearly and rely on my old habits too much. After all i have been smoking since before I started full time in the real world, so it will be a hard habit to break, but not as hard as the first week of quitting was.

Day Six

Welcome to day 6, almost one week. Met up with an old friend last night and caught up on 10 lost years, it was a great time! One of my Awesome cousins met us out for a while, we had a really good time. After a couple of drinks I really wanted to smoke when we were leaving, but I worked my way through it, chewed some gum and eventully moved on. Tonight Mike and I are going out for our anniversary dinner, can't wait to see how I enjoy a great, expensive, fancy meal without smoking. Tomorrow will be one week!

72 hours (I get by with (more) than a little help from my friends)

Ok, made it past the 72 hour mark, and boy this was the hardest day so far. I almost completely broke down and bought a pack, walked into Walgreens ready to buy one, and at the last second decided to get nicotine gum instead. I have been given so much support from SO many wonderful people, I couldn't let everyone down. Really mom, dad, Mike, Chris, Nic, Angelina, Loretta, Fran, Mariko, Aunt Karen, Donna, Anthony, Tom, Lisa, Nicole, Aunti Di, Grace, Dave, Jim Suzy, Vince, Catherine, Kathleen, Tony, Marando, Betsey, Derek, Angela, Marlene, Gina, Sal, Tracy, Susan, and so many more. I have to thank you guys SO SO much for the support, I couldn't have gotten through today without all of you, it really does mean the world to me.

Day two

So far so good, I am now on day two of my smoke free existance, and feel good about it. I slept better that I thought I would last night. I was contemplating taking something to help me sleep, but I wanted to try to get through the night on my own first. It did take about an hour or so of tossing and turning, but I was able to finally shut my mind down and get to sleep and sleep through the night. This is also the last day of work for me for the week, so I'm hoping that being off schedule the rest of the week will help me through it. So far my biggest struggle has been getting to and from the train. That 2 block walk all I think about is smoking, which is weird because those were the cigarettes that I hated the most, I would rather have my gloves on and hands in my pocket than freezing my fingertips off and walking. That's what I think about to get me through. Also after I eat I feel like my stomach won't settle correctly, but deep breaths and gum seem to help. I haven't been eating more than normal, which is good, in fact I think I've been eating less since I don't feel quite right, so hopefully this will help me loose weight as well. I've been drinking a lot more water too, and lip gloss, lots and lots of lip gloss. That's all for now, I'll check back mid day.

24 hours

So I made it 24 hours smoke free. I feel really good about it and proud of my small accomplishment. I know that it is going to be one day at a time hour by hour. The best part of my day was when my collegue asked if I wanted to go outside and I firmly said "NO". Never felt so good to say those two letters. I felt empowered, and I feel like if I can do this, I can accomplish anything. Thanks again to all my facebook and Twitter friends, you made this day so much easier for me.

Day one

So today is day one in my experiment to finally quit smoking after 15 years, literally I have wasted half my life and most likly thousands of dollars puffing away.
I woke up this morning feeling good, finally knowing that I am off to a brand new start! I was able to drive to the train and endure a ride from hell and not really crave one all morning. But now it's 9:15, and I feel like I have a rock in the pit of my stomache and I am grinding my teeth trying to get through this. I at least hoped that I would be able to make it until noon before feeling like this. I need to think of something to reward myself if I can make it until 4:30 without smoking, maybe a nice cold beer when I get home, or a bottle of wine, whatever it takes to get my mind off things. Breath in Breath out, move on to the next task. I need something to keep my mind and hands busy.

2010

Well a new year is here and I'm going to actually start writing. My resolutions for the year are to quit smoking (starting that on Monday the 11th) while at the same time loosing some weight. I will post how I am doing with both of those throughout the year. I would like to try to post daily how I'm feeling and doing. I have been smoking for the past 15 years, and now that I'm 30, I really think it's time for me to stop. I am not going to use a patch or gum or medicition, I'm doing this all on my own out of shear will power. This is the first time that I am making a real attempt to quit, I know it's going to be hard and I'm going to be pretty moody, but I think I can do it.
My reasons, well my health, and money and all the normal stuff. The biggest reason is my nephew and niece. I don't want them to grow up seeing Auntie smoke and think it's an ok thing for them to do. I also hate stealing away time from them because I need a cigarette. My boyfriend, Mike, is going to quit with me, he is starting on Chantex, but I think I'll be ok on my own. We shall see, wish me luck!